Love is shown in ACTION, in DEEDS. Only when we are loving in deed can we know that Jesus lives in us.
For me to experience God’s love, others have to experience mine. And I cannot make an exception of even one person, because God doesn’t. And that is how we become “good”. We are good because God’s love and goodness is acting in and through us. We usually put it the other way: if I am first good, then God will love me. But God always loves me, whether I am good or bad. When I am good, it is because I allow his love to act in me; when I am bad, it is because I have blocked off his love.
We must abandon entirely the idea that we “earn” God’s love by our “good deeds”. God does not love me because I am good; I am good because God’s love is working in and through me to others.